Dominos Knows

My computer has been falling apart, slowly, for the past 4 months. First, random, unprovoked (seemingly) shut downs. Then stalling every 8 seconds, or so, for small periods of time. Finally, total loss of keyboard and trackpad functionality. I used a pen tablet used for drawing to act as a mouse*. Now, I have a new external USB keyboard.

So, my computer is now fully functioning the way someone in a wheelchair is fully functioning. It can live a fully capable, wonderful life, but not without all the bulky, external hardware to help. It's awesome, comparatively , but my laptop essentially has become a less-powerful desktop computer.


For the 3 people that might happen upon this website in the coming year (my sister, Liz Cherry, and blog-surfer Johannes from Sweden) I owe you a post.


About a month ago, there was another wonderful commercial running that I just loved. Domino's Pizza® ran a commercial boasting that 2 out of 3 people preferred their new Oven Baked Sandwiches to Subways subs.

I challenge you to Mortal Kombat**. I challenge you to take a bite out of the deli ham, veggie, and thinly sliced provolone sandwich. NOW. Take a bite of the sensuous, succulent Domino's Oven Baked Sandwich...yeah, baby. That's some sweet-ass fat content. No wonder you like it. Even from the commercial, which is Domino's perfect-world sangwich, oozes with it's cheese and grease. OF COURSE it tastes better! That's what it's meant to do! You're Domino's: You take gooey cheese, slap it on something, and make fatty-magic. You compare yourself to Subway. I know there are ways to make a truly terrible Subway sub. Just put the sloppy tuna on the bread, and wham, already you got a doozy. However, Subways whole thing is that it's a healthier alternative. Healthy doesn't always taste bad, but you don't see Celery Products of America gallivanting about with "Taste is job 1!!!!!"



2 out of 3 people also preferred the taste of Pepsi to water. 2 out of 3 people preferred the taste of cookies to broccoli. 2 out of 3 people preferred a warm bath to being tar and feathered.

It shouldn't be a surprise that something loaded with the delicious tastes of the gods would win over something Satan provided to help people control their caloric intake***.

Hey Domino's, 2 out of 3 people**** prefer a professional journalistic website***** to this contrived crap I'm slappin on the page. And?


And to really bring it home for the big D (urbanized), they ran a more recent campaign with "Ask not what your crust can do for you...ask if it has cheese on it." Way to take something that exists as a wonderful piece of history, and just muddle it up for all of today's youth. And what's even worse than messing up relevant, powerful history, IT'S JUST NOT FUNNY! Not funny, not funny, not funny. The potential for a funny/fun, different ending to that phrase is so vast, it just kills me to hear such drivel.

Oh well, at the end of the day, I just wanna tasty treat. Bring it, Domino's.

* There is an Ink application on my Mac, and it allows me to write out letters with my mouse, translating it to text. Painstakingly annoying.
** Get over here.
*** Eat that 100 calorie pack. You goin to hell.
**** Ones me, the other is a middle schooler who says, "The pix make me lol."
***** The Onion