P-Diddy has "strunth."

Sean Combs. This is a man who believes his own identity can be a statement. Also, his name is a statement: Sean combs. Yes, he does, and he combs well.

Remember when you liked "Puff Daddy"'s music? Were you 12? Me too! Remember when you decided "Puff Daddy" was a ridiculous name? Were you 13? OMG ME TOO! Sadly, Sean Combs was easily into his later 20s before he figured it out. "Puff Daddy?" C'mon. Thank the heavens he went to a more approachable name: P-Diddy.

"Ah yes," says the general consumer, "P-Diddy sounds like something I would enjoy."
"Sir, would you have any idea what a P-Diddy was?" I reply.
"No, but it wouldn't matter."

Damn you, Sean. You've won, again.

This mentality of do-whatever-it'll-be-gold has continued to this day. His recent ad campaign for newly released scent, I Am King, is running on some channel that my sister watches. I end up watching shows such as "Dress Me Cause I Look Like Hell" and "Cook a Meal, and So Help Me If It Sucks..."* Between segments of these fine programs, I ended up seeing his singular I Am King commercial roughly 8 times in a short time-span. Already there's cause for concern. "Mr. Combs? Do you have to beat me over the head with your new fragrance?" I don't even wear cologne, I just wear Axe: Vice and hope for the best**.

Next on my list: "Strunth."

What the hell. Strunth, or strinth***, is Diddy's newfound attribute I would assume closely resembles strength. But, then again, it might not be that at all. I do understand that there are dialects and accents and variations of language, but I'm trying to understand D-Poopy's use of his. Refer back to the age you thought Diddy was the bee's knees. 12 years old, right? Are you ridiculously non"street"? I am. Do you say "strength?" I do. P-Doolittle's music, to my knowledge, is music for middle-class, non-urban middle-schoolers.

Living in NYC, I get the privilege of hearing other peoples music played over a speaker in the subway. Most of the time, the music is some sort of hardcore hip-hop/rap by someone who carries a 'thug'like aura. I have yet to hear, nor can I imagine, this scary-looking individual blasting out "Been Around The World." "Strunth" gets you, and us (especially) no where. It was a voice-over, so I know he could focus on EXACTLY how he wanted to sound. Lord knows, he already looked about as REALISTICALLY AWESOME as he could be.

Tux on a jetski....I want to smell like HIM!

* I actually don't mind them, and even like them sometimes. Do girls like me yet?
** Best - My pits don't smell like a racoon dropped a slimy duce.
*** Phonetically, I believe the English language doesn't have the proper letters to portray the correct spelling.

The first step to recovery is making a small documentary.

XBox Addiction is a serious problem.

Meanderers in NYC

As a first post, instead of a "Hey this happened today, and it was totes weird," I will do a, "Holy shit, this happens all the time, and it will never be justified."

I refer to the offense as the Sidewalk Meander.

I live in NYC. We walk really a lot. That's because the city is so huge packed into a small circumference! It really creates wondrous amounts of options for most things you could want out of life. For me: McDonald's, GameStops, and Bars. Of course, anywhere on the globe has the chance to be, at whatever moment, a dangerous place, but, NY has so many people in a small area, there is just a higher percentage for an act of violence or crime to occur to you, by you, bayou, Erika Badu. That being said, I'm sure I'm not the only New Yorker (I'm not native, but still) that walks with purpose to their destination. This means, I'm briskly moving forward and determining my path of least resistance far before any obstacle is near. I try hard to remain on a straight-ish path following traffic flow, only cutting across lanes when necessary.

BOOM! Some random piece of hell who was just standing, leaning on a stoop-post, decides he wants to slowly walk into the sidewalk perpendicular to the flow of traffic, with no awareness of anybody walking normally, like a person should. If you are in a field, sir, meander away. Let go of your awareness, and let the planet swallow you into it's vast, earthy goodness. But fuck, dude, this is a NY sidewalk. What made you think there wasn't anyone coming? I know my sister refers to my movement within my own apartment as "like an assassin," but my jeans are going "schwee! schwee!" with every step. I'm also movin a crisp 8 mph or somethin crazy! You will be hurt if it weren't for some catlike-reflexive fancy-footwork from ol' Drabes. I sidestep, juke, spin-move, etc. out of the way, and MOST LIKELY get some sort of "stupid walker" face from the bumbling, meander-man.

I mean, really, what ARE you doing? You just wanted to see if it was warmer over by the parked cars? Or what?! You tell me, asshole. I just sprained my ankle to avoid plowing my crotch into your flighty-ass.

The Sidewalk Meander can be greatly improved if people would just look both ways before crossing the "street." I learned how to do that before Kindergarten. Give it a shot.